>_<

很累很累。。真的很累。。很想一睡不起。。这样什么都不必去理会了。。哈。。不想去开会的心理在作怪。。心理真的很不平衡。。没人能理解的。。但有能怎样呢？？？谁叫我就是组长呢??是我的错吗？我想应该是吧...哈。。很烦恼哦。。。

我也知道一定会有这样的事情发生的。。但并没有想到这么快发生而已。。。是我太天真了。。
要全部人到齐一个会议的确很难。。毕竟大家都有自己的想法及活动，大家都有选择的余地。。也并不是大家都是真心的为了搞好mkc而来的。。。so do I..

是不是大家都还不熟练呢?不敢把问题都摊开来讲？？诺是你们不能出席会议请你们在会议时提出来。。我们在谈谈吧。。你们这样不告诉我就直接找教练谈会令我遭殃的叻。。害我无端端收到短信又不知道发生什么事情。。还真的有点莫名其妙。。有点无奈。。也有点沮丧。。不过也算。。不想跟他解释那么多。。解释只是会越描越黑的。。他认为是这样就这样吧。。我无所谓。。

二十四节令鼓并没有想像中的好玩。。身为组长更加不好玩。。我后悔了。。我想。。。。。。
但既然是自己的选择的就应该由自己来承担。。。加油拉大家！！
我相信自己会做到最好的。。。我相信我自己。。希望你们也相信我咯。。。


与大家共勉之：
“改变念头，动手去做你最害怕的事，恐惧就会消失。。
的确，当我们遇到不利自己的处境，只要我们改变自己原先想逃避的心境，勇敢地去面对，那么就不难发现，自己目前的处境，其实并没有想象中的糟糕。。”

CC trip - Bagan Lalang

闷闷不乐了那么多天，使时候放松心情一下。。。所以就跟随了cc这个大家庭去海边玩玩渡假。
原本也没抱多大的希望这个cc trip 会多好玩。。不过，也真没让我失望啊。。。的确是蛮好玩的。。谢谢你们咯。。

这三天两夜的trip，真的让我获益不浅啊。。。但我个人觉得这个trip的宗旨与目标并没有达成。。。我根本就没有看到有哪些人是没有分辈分的在交流着。。。seniors还是跟会seniors的在沟通。。而我们这些juniors也有自己的世界。。。就算有，大家也只是被框在自己的小组内交流而已。。。所以。。哈哈。。有好一些人我都还不是很认识咯。。。应该是说我根本就不认识。。但我觉得这些都应该是来自个人的问题。。毕竟cc 只是一个平台让我们去接触与认识更多人吧了。。。一切还得靠自己吧。。。加油咯大家！！

CC 是否是我们的另一个家？？？我不晓得。。但确定的是一些seniors真的帮了我很多很多。。谢谢你们哦。。。也很高兴认识你们。。希望在未来的日子里我们都还会保持联络。。。

心情超低落~~~feeling so down~~~

I really fallen ill after came bec from bukit tinggi...we hd travelled for a very long n stupid journey to go bec...till i hd headache n feeling bad...actually i hd ald fallen sick on the 1st day we went to bukit tinggi...tq to those who always care of me...10q very much...

btw,we hd sucessful organised QZH3 camp at sjk(c) bukit tinggi...but we faced a lot of obstacles...huh~~~till then,i found tat it is really hard to well organised a camp....

Mon, i hvn recovered from sick...still got fever...the sub probability result was announced n i got a very poor result...i was feeling so down...wanna to cry???i hv no tears...at noon,we hd APK meeting, n i din go down...sorry yaa to my team members, i really sick n felt asleep until i miss up the meeting...i was not intent to do so...at nite..there was a CC meeting which took most of my free time...i hate the meeting,i hate those who waste my golden time...after meeting,i hate those who do not believe in me...they dun understand me...who keep on blaming me din go to the APK meeting...even i hd explained,still they chose to not believe me....i was totally hurt by u all...is this wat we call 'friend'????im so hurt,u knw???i could not wait anymore,i walked as quickly as i can to go bec to my room to cry...i scared ppl see my ugly crying face...T.T
(So,for those who hd read my blog,u should know tat im not get angry with certain ppl only...)

i was simply feeling down the whole week...i dunno why...i totally lose myself...im not mine anymore...i was not the easy going gal anymore,i can't smile anymore...u could hardly find smile on my face...my smile was so fake,i know...i dun wan to see any ppl...so i chose not to go to dewan makan the whole week...i din eat rice for the whole week...i was very suffer...really really really suffer!!!!!!i hate..i hate..i hate..i hate...i HATE everything!!!i HATE my uni life!!so tiring n irritating!!so stressful!!i HATE myself for being a stupid ppl, for being a foolish, for being a failure!!!!!who can understand me??sometimes i even think to escape from the 7th residential college...can i???i tried to sms my best frenz but she din reply me...so sad..r u very busy v u assignment??im helpless..simply wan to express my feeling to u...i knw,i shouldn't being selfish to disturb u since we hv our own life now..i'm so sorry...

i knw,some of u are really willing to listen to me...but im so sorry, i won't easily let ppl knw abt my things...i really want to speak up to u,bt at last i gave up to do so...i really scared tat if i tell my problems to anyone of u, then the others will knw it too...i got such experiences be4,i really really scared the feeling betrayed by ppl...so sorry yaa,cafelyn n my big hand-gareth.....

but anyway i would like to thank to my club advisor who always share meaningful stories with me...i loves ur stories...sometimes the stories were very touching....seriously,i love them very much....
thank to my "sui gong" also...thank for accompanying me for the whole nite...hope we all can solve our problems very soon...have a new start soon....
thank to my dear friends - meishi n yuemin...thanks for listening to me always...

Mooncake Festival

I forgot how long i hv been not celebrate for the mooncake festival...since form 4?i really can't recall bec...since u passed away??i dun knw...im not sure...i still remembered tat we hd a barbeque party for every single occasions tat we celebrated be4...we gathered together,we played around,we talked for the whole nite till morning...but now..no more...u left us forever...bt still u r alway on my mind...

2day, 14th of sept, we-4am club and supper nite club hd a small monncake festival celebration at Gazebo(pondok in 7th residential college)...yaa...we invited some of the friends n seniors to join,but still academic is more important,they rather study hard in the room than joining us to celebrate mooncake festival..only few seniors came n join us...i wonder will they forget their role as a chinese one day?? thank you to those who light up my small celebration...hehe...i seriously hd fun tat nite...

we sat together,we talked together, seniors shared their experiences v us...n we also sang songs together...we recalled bec our minggun haluansiswa theme song-Gemuruh...where 3rd seniors taught us their theme song too-jalinan...huh...i simply like tis song very much....n last but not least our CC song n Talent's nite theme song-小手拉大手....again,i feel CC like my another home???
haha...dear ah boy...joel n me...
dear 4am club n supper nite club-ah greg, me, caan ee, yuemin, meishi, n sai er....
my dear big hand-karwai...who really takes care of me...10q so much....
yeah~~we celebrated mooncake festival together....10q for giving me a happy nite....
hehe...we made the gazebo become a very romantic place....haha..

全中华3

参加完了aiesec的xcapade，接下来的这个星期的mid sem break我都送给了全中华3。。。

首先，我们这些筹委都参加了在武吉丁宜的培训营。。。虽然人数很少但我们大家都玩得很高兴。。。我也从中学习到很多很多。。。谢谢你们让我更加认识马大华文学会。。。让我更加认识华教历史。。。从中唤醒我对华教的热忱。。。想为华社做出更加多的贡献。。。
想当初我参加全中华是纯粹因为我喜欢生活营和我想认识更加多的朋友。。。可是，培训营过后我已经有所改观。。。真的是单纯为了华社，为了我们的后代。。。

经过了中马分站，我可以更加确定我们一起为华教而努力的那颗心。。。回想从前我就是那个因为校方不让我们读华文而哭泣的小孩。。。我们想尽方法去争取读华文的机会，最后还闹到督学那儿。。还好，最终我们还是争取到了。。。谢谢那些曾经对我们伸出援手的大人物。。。非常谢谢你们。。。所以我一直都在告诉自己一定要帮帮其他人。。。他们何尝不是也像我们一样，为了学校没有华文学会而懊恼。。。华教真的是我们华人的根啊！！！没有了根我们能生存吗？？？我们还是华人吗???所以我们要想尽办法来保住我们的根！！真的！！

好啦。。最后。。全中华3加油！！！

Xcapade 2008

I hd a lot to talk abt the Xcapade actually from the 1st day till the last day..i was really enjoyed..

Talent's Nite

Finally,the day we are all waiting for is coming.......

We hd prepared for tonite for almost 2 weeks..........
Talent's nite is actually a nite totally for all the CC juniors to show their talents...they had their own perfomances...and the seniors were the audience....

And i was the master of ceremony of tat nite...even i used to be a MC be4...bt still i think im not gd enough on tat nite...till everyone citics about me...talked something bad behind me...i hate the feeling...i was like a stupid,like a fool!!!i hate.....i hate.....till i hate CC sometimes....u all can tell me face to face abt my weakness,or gv some opinion or wat u all disatisfy...but pls dun talk behind me....i really hate such feeling....really....

At the end, we have a session for all the "big hands" to find out who is their "small hands"..as we (all the juniors) are small hands and the seniors are big hands...for ur infomation,we had a writing letters section before talent's nite where small hands need to write letters to their big hands by not letting the seniors knw who r them...so normally, we use our nickname to write letters and put the letters in pigeon hole...i was really have fun by writing letters but it took me some time to write....i hd write to 5 big hands....hehe..so greed....haha...and here i'm so sorry to those who thought i'm small dophin n actually i'm not....wakakakaka...

we end the talent's nite by singing CC song....CC is like my another home???i wonder.....i need to reconsider....

29th July- CC Supper Nite

Today is actually cc supper nite where all the seniors and juniors get together in a restaurant outside the campus...At first,i was wondering why we need to walk so far in order to have a simple dinner???is it really have fun???i ponder....

But soon i discovered that we were really enjoyed while walking toward the restaurant...we talked along the journey...we talked non stop...either talked to seniors or juniors...we talked abt everything...it was actually a nice chat...

at the momment we reached the restaurant, i found something interesting..haha...tat was we need to register v the seniors in-charge be4 we entered the restaurant...so funny..and still,it was my 1st time to do so...there were so many people were waiting inside....i was in table no-19...yeah together v seniors-jianhau, jessica, aisian, n huiting...great to sat in same table v them...they r so cute n i knew they tried very hard to break the ice...haha...

ohh yaa..tis was the 1st ever time i ate pork after i entered for almost one month....i mean ate pork together v all cc members laa...it was a nice feeling...
we did celebrate some friends' birthday...we sang birthday song...we enjoyed the lion dance perfomance...n we did sang many songs as fairwell songs to kian seng n akceil...

i really enjoyed the time we sang songs together, chit chatting together n of course ate pork together...haha...CC is really like my another home....

29th June - 1st day in 7th College...

I still remembered tat i was so nervous and scared to discover a new and strange place(7th coll) alone...but then i still have to do so...the 1st person i met was PM Soo...n then were Eric n Pui Ying...they were so nice at beginning by guiding me wat to do...ohh yaa...i think my eyes were temporarily blind at tat moment bcoz i walked to wrong room...damn fool...i got room C415 but i went to the room D415...huh~~so stupid~~i tried very hard to open the room D415 by using the key of C415 and asked the people around to help me to open the door...n later i just realised tat i hd made a great mistake...haha...huh~~i was so blur and dizzy~~

I was the first check in the room...Sooner,my roomates - Shin Yen and Xin Hui reached...hehe~~no comment for them...coz i still not really knw who were they actually...i knew only their name n wat courses they were offered...tat's all...haha...bcoz we hd too much time to knw more abt each other...

Then, we were asked to gather at dewan nukleus for a short briefing at 2pm...Here, i met my old frenz from segamat...-feimian...we got to knw each other through a camp called PJKN 2006...huh~~suddenly i was afraid by the shoutening of PM Kian Seng,he was the head of biro dicipline...In the introduction session of our PM, wat i can say was they were not well organised...i really dun knw wat were they doing in front and behind...i can't even spot which PM was been introduced at tat time...may be i was too^100 blur...i even dun knw who was my ketua PM...haha...i was so sorry about tat...yaa..one thing i wanted to mention here was all PM seem very mean lor...

The opening ceremony was held at nite..n i felt sleepy lor...n the hall was so hot until i can't stand of it...huh~~~oh my god...i needed fresh air...the first time i listened to our college song..wahh...really a nice song tat i was falling in love with it later...haha...so crazy...

Wat was happening later,i really 4got ald...i only knew tat we slept lately tat nite...but doesn't matter since this was wat we called it minggu haluansiswa maa...haha..

Minggu Haluansiswa

When talked about my orientation week in UM, i would probably said tat it was my night mare. Everyday we had to wake up at the very early in the morning and slept at the late at nite.


We were divided in 20 cells which i was in the 19th cell and my cell's PM were PM Nabil and PM Shakti. Wat i could say was he is really a nice guy who always take care of us (i mean those who have health problems). Oh yaa...asthma attacked me badly during orientation week. i really hate asthma, it made me could not join any activities during the haluansiswa week...huhu~~~:(...so sad...especially the cheers...



We actually very busy lor...need to go here n there to listen to all kind of briefing...arghh..i hate to listen to talk so much...so,u knw laa...sure i slept during the talk laa...haha...i really felt very boring and sleepy on tat time lor...



For me, the most memorable things were the momment when we were scolded n punished by the PMs and the momment we won the champion in the cheers competition lor...they really cruel lor...punished us to half-stand...huhu...so tired n exhausted lor...luckily got somebody safe me from the punishment....thanks him so much....he was the only one who know what happened to me actually....