I really fallen ill after came bec from bukit tinggi...we hd travelled for a very long n stupid journey to go bec...till i hd headache n feeling bad...actually i hd ald fallen sick on the 1st day we went to bukit tinggi...tq to those who always care of me...10q very much...
btw,we hd sucessful organised QZH3 camp at sjk(c) bukit tinggi...but we faced a lot of obstacles...huh~~~till then,i found tat it is really hard to well organised a camp....
Mon, i hvn recovered from sick...still got fever...the sub probability result was announced n i got a very poor result...i was feeling so down...wanna to cry???i hv no tears...at noon,we hd APK meeting, n i din go down...sorry yaa to my team members, i really sick n felt asleep until i miss up the meeting...i was not intent to do so...at nite..there was a CC meeting which took most of my free time...i hate the meeting,i hate those who waste my golden time...after meeting,i hate those who do not believe in me...they dun understand me...who keep on blaming me din go to the APK meeting...even i hd explained,still they chose to not believe me....i was totally hurt by u all...is this wat we call 'friend'????im so hurt,u knw???i could not wait anymore,i walked as quickly as i can to go bec to my room to cry...i scared ppl see my ugly crying face...T.T
(So,for those who hd read my blog,u should know tat im not get angry with certain ppl only...)
i was simply feeling down the whole week...i dunno why...i totally lose myself...im not mine anymore...i was not the easy going gal anymore,i can't smile anymore...u could hardly find smile on my face...my smile was so fake,i know...i dun wan to see any ppl...so i chose not to go to dewan makan the whole week...i din eat rice for the whole week...i was very suffer...really really really suffer!!!!!!i hate..i hate..i hate..i hate...i HATE everything!!!i HATE my uni life!!so tiring n irritating!!so stressful!!i HATE myself for being a stupid ppl, for being a foolish, for being a failure!!!!!who can understand me??sometimes i even think to escape from the 7th residential college...can i???i tried to sms my best frenz but she din reply me...so sad..r u very busy v u assignment??im helpless..simply wan to express my feeling to u...i knw,i shouldn't being selfish to disturb u since we hv our own life now..i'm so sorry...
i knw,some of u are really willing to listen to me...but im so sorry, i won't easily let ppl knw abt my things...i really want to speak up to u,bt at last i gave up to do so...i really scared tat if i tell my problems to anyone of u, then the others will knw it too...i got such experiences be4,i really really scared the feeling betrayed by ppl...so sorry yaa,cafelyn n my big hand-gareth.....
but anyway i would like to thank to my club advisor who always share meaningful stories with me...i loves ur stories...sometimes the stories were very touching....seriously,i love them very much....
thank to my "sui gong" also...thank for accompanying me for the whole nite...hope we all can solve our problems very soon...have a new start soon....
thank to my dear friends - meishi n yuemin...thanks for listening to me always...
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