Thanks her for being part of my family, part of my life.
Thanks her for giving me such a great Dad!
Without her, I have no idea where will I be, who am I today!
Though sometimes I just felt dislike her short memory, which she kept calling me a wrong name, and kept talking to me in Hakka which I don't really understand, but what to do, I was still need to accept all this.
When time passes, and I grown up, she changed up in quite a sudden, she was able to call my name correctly, and she talked to me in Mandarin!
Though the same dishes would be served for every reunion dinner, but still, when everyone was sitting together and having the dinner together, no matter the dishes tasted salty or tasteless, we would still enjoy the dinner so much! Thanks her for making all the family members together.
I could not really imagine how would our reunion dinner be without her next year.
The last memory with her would be the day she attended my graduation ceremony, and she brought a bucket of flowers for me. I don't really remember whether I did thank her or not, I really regretted that I don't really serve her well on that day, I should bring her to walk around my university, the place that I survived for three years. I really thanked for coming in such a special and important day for me.
I still remembered that day, 9th of February, the day that the doctor diagnosed her was in the last stage of lung cancer. We were so surprised to know this! She got this without any symptoms! We had no idea on what to do, just be nice to her, gave her whatever she wanted, did whatever she wanted us to do.
Time flies, I received the news of her death after one month, 8th of March.
The seconds that I got the call, I told myself, this was the best way for her, and this was what I always pray for her, "let her go when it's the time for her, let her suffer the least". My prayer was finally answered. Though we were hard to accept this, but we were still need to accept. Life must goes on.
I stayed calm for the time when I received news till now, but what I got from friends was why aren't you feeling sad? Are you close to her? You are cold blood! I don't see a drop of tears drop out from your eyes!
Yes, I am feeling sad. But do I really need to show out my sad face for everyone to see?
I was crying over and over again when I knew she was suffering from the lung cancer.
What I would say is when you know more about death, you would not grieve on this anymore. This is just a part of the cycle of life. We should feel happy for her, at least she suffered the least. Do you know how much suffer when you could not breath and need to depend on the machine to get oxygen and help you to breath? I know this! This is really suffering! Do you know how sad she was when she lied on the bed and could not move, talk and eat anymore?
I already expected that she would left us very soon when I last visited her in the hospital Segamat one week before her death. She was calling us back just to see us for the last time. Seriously I felt so sad when I saw her on the bed, can't even talk to me a single word. The last word that I heard from her was "It was late already, please go back to KL and work. Drive safe."
Thanks for walking into my life, though not much memories we had together, but still I appreciate everything from you!
No worries, I will keep everything fresh in mind.
I will make you be proud of me!
Thanks grandma!
R.I.P
